I just finished reading a book by Gabrielle Bernstein – “The Universe Has Your Back”. While the book focuses on teaching us how to transform fear into faith, the lessons can also be applied to leadership. One of the very powerful quotes is “Your purpose is to be joyful. Your purpose is to live with ease. Your purpose is to surrender to the love of the Universe so you can live a happy life. Accept the purpose of love, and your life will radically change this instant.” Now what leader would you rather follow, a leader that leads from the purpose of love or a leader that leads from the purpose of fear.
Leaders that lead from the heart will do the following:
Show warmth, an interest in the well-being of others, and a desire to connect.
Help others faced with a challenge.
Keep their commitments.
Appreciate, respect, encourage and empower.
Take the time, especially when they don’t have time.
Active listening.
Treat others’ time as if it’s as important as theirs.
Be as passionate about the growth of others as they are about their own.
Leaders that lead from fear often have the following:
Lead by using their position instead of influencing behaviors.
A track record of employee churn because they do not value people.
Have a team walking on eggshells because mistakes are punished, quite often publicly
A comfort in dysfunction. Whether at work of home, they enjoy arguing and intimidating others. Unfortunately this usually spills over into family situations.
Teams that lack confidence due to shortcomings always being pointed out and always been told what went wrong.
A friend of mine has a podcast called The Little Spark. Topics that will inspire creativity, genius or madness that will provide inspiration.
Leaders are always looking for inspiration and new ways to either motivate themselves or their teams. For me, it can be a long trail run listening to an audio book, a casual conversation with someone, watching a Ted Talk or listening to interviews. Wherever you find your Little Spark, the difference is is what you do with it. What do you see from high performers that fan the flames of little sparks?
Put lessons into practice quickly. Look at elite sports teams, after a tough game they review performance, make corrections and begin practicing for the next game.
They learn from others. Otto von Bismarck said it best “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others”.
They get feedback on their performance. Without feedback, you are left guessing about performance.
They are always looking for opportunities to learn and grow.
They continue to look for little sparks in everything they do.
They learn how to say no and stay focused on their goals.
Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is necessary, and is kind. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.
Three simple gates to pass through before you provide feedback.
Two times this past week the topic of anxiety and high achievers came up. In both cases, it caused me to pause and reflect on my life and leadership journey.
The first time to reflect was when reading an article that found it’s way to my inbox . It was a Harvard Business Review – How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety by Morra Aarons-Mele from March-April 2023. (https://hbr.org/2023/03/how-high-achievers-overcome-their-anxiety) Without a doubt, as you continue along your leadership journey there will be times that will come along where you will be exposed to stress and anxiety. Systems of anxiety can be feeling nervous, restless or tense, an increased heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, trembling, feeling tired or trouble concentrating.
The second time this week was an interview – Zane Lowe interviewing Post Malone following the release of his latest album AUSTIN. So often we look to sports or business leaders regarding anxiety and high performance. During the interview, Post Malone discusses his anxiety and his need to turn to alcohol or drugs to prepare him for concerts or interviews. Post Malone mentions a couple of times that he is trying to enjoy the journey and not focus on the destination.
Zane Lowe and Post Malone
The Harvard Business Review is very informative and a powerful introduction to anxiety, its effects and ways to live with anxiety along with the benefits when managed properly. You will be introduced to topics such as Monkey Mind – trying to focus but your mind wanders far away, Worst Case Scenario – the Stoics loved this one and instead of avoiding thought on what can happen they would face it head on. Most importantly you will be introduced to practices to help – identifying the source of anxiety, self-compassion, humour, exercise, self-talk and guided meditation.
Focusing on my goals has always been a strength of mine and along with it has come a certain level of anxiety. One of my supervisors once told me “I am happy when you are worried about something because I know you will solve the issue”. Easy for him to say, he didn’t know the effect on me. When I reached my early 30’s, blessed with two children and a career where I was the person to send somewhere in the world when a problem needed solving I started experiencing the warning signs. Always eager to take on and overcome the next challenge, I started finding myself having trouble sleeping, tense and feeling sick. I went to my family doctor and received some of the best advice I have every received. He told me, I could give you some medication but I suggest you go to a local Mindfulness clinic – an eight week program located in my hometown. It was difficult for me to go as I have never been someone to admit weakness. Mindfulness has been my go to for anxiety and my practice continues to this day. Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgement. When Post Malone says he is focusing on the journey and not the destination – this is the basic lesson of mindfulness.
What works for me will not work for everyone. The important lesson is to recognize the symptoms and if it gets to be too difficult, seek out methods to learn to live with anxiety and turn it into your superpower.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has the famous saying and that is to be “The Hardest Worker in the Room”. Other examples in sports were Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. It takes a certain hunger to overcome adversity and to develop the drive to outwork others. In order to do this you need to have a “Growth Mindset”. The figure below compares the behavioral traits of those with a Growth Mindset and those with a Fixed Mindset. If you are in a leadership role, more than likely you have a Growth Mindset – challening yourself and looking around for inspiration. Inspiration can come from observing others, reading books, taking courses or spensing time with others that have successfully put in the effort to achieve what you are looking for.
Growth vs Fixed Mindset
Show up, even when you don’t feel like it. Make learning a daily priority. Challenge yourself and then others. Do the jobs that others aren’t willing to do. Encourage the team. And most importantly, be consistent! Can a Growth Mindset be nurtured and developed – the answer is yes. Whether it is your children or team members with a Fixed Mindset, there are steps that can be taken to develop the Growth Mindset.
Dr. Carol Dweck gives us some tips:
Recognise the powerful influence that beliefs have on final results.
Improvement is always possible.
Eliminate chronic self-doubt.
Become more “Goal focused”.
Life requires evolutionary growth.
Evolution is growth by degree.
Contained within every defeat are seeds of an equivalent benefit.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created or destroyed – only converted from one form of energy to another. Sometimes this law is also referred to as the Law of Conservation of Energy. While we can visualize the transfer of energy if we add a flame to an ice cube, the application of this law can be much broader.
We emit energy every day through our body language, the words we speak, how we treat one another, and it is possible to convert negative energy to positive energy. What are the results of positive energy in the workplace?
Helps to get you through tough times. The Power of Attraction tells us that whatever you focus your energy on will come back to you. Call it karma, call it good vibrations but they all come back to the theory that positive thoughts bring positive results into a person’s life.
Influencing others. Energy, excitement and enthusiasm helps others to feel more energized. This is how we maximize the potential of others.
Pulling a team together. Getting a team innovating and practicing the behaviors of Yes, If vs No, Because (see earlier blog).
Positive energy will carry you through a tough situation. Negative energy results in challenges being magnified and feeling worse and worse.
Positive energy results in generally happier people and happier people are more productive. Negative energy builds resentment and tension, stifling creativity.
How can we convert negative energy to positive energy?
Focus on what is in your control. We can not control what life is going to throw at us, be we can control how we react. Mindfulness practice helps to extend the time between stimulus and response.
Start a gratitude practice. Be grateful for the positives that you do have in your life.
For many people it is the time of year to be grateful for all we have, sharing moments with family and friends that you may not have seen for some time. For others, loneliness sets in, bringing with it feeling of sadness, anxiety or depression.
As per Harvard Health Publishing, there is documented evidence that focusing on gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. There are many ways to practice gratitude:
Saying thank you either in-person or in writing. Even in this day and age, who doesn’t love to see a Christmas Card in the mail.
Sending positive thoughts to others and keeping them in your mind or prayers if they are going through challenging times.
Keeping a formal gratitude journal where your regularly take time to write down what you are grateful for.
Practicing mindfulness meditation, focusing on the present moment and focusing on what you are grateful for.
If you do believe in God, or a higher power, take time out to pray and give thanks for all the positives in your life.
It may be challenging at times to find those small things to be grateful for when we are going through difficult times. Recently I was reminded how powerful gratitude can be. We all know Michael J Fox and the challenges he is going through. Michael J Fox’s acting career changed when he weas diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease at the age of 29. I can still remember Alex Keaton in Family Ties, Scott Howard in Teen Wolf and Marty McFly in the Back To The Future movies. Who doesn’t want their own Flux Capacitor?
It was a recent interview that really caught my attention. Michael J Fox reunited with his Back to the Future co-star Christopher Lloyd and detailed how he has had a “really rough year” but still remains “grateful”. ”Well, in the last year I’ve broken my cheek, my eye socket, my hand, my elbow … my shoulder. I had a rough year of getting beat up. But that was really cool because it made me realize … with gratitude, it’s sustainable. If you can find something to be grateful for, if you can find something and say, ‘Well, that’s good,’ … It’ll always get better… I’m very optimistic.”
If you are going though tough times or if you aren’t, continue to take time out to be grateful for those small blessings in your life.
I entered the trail running world years ago after watching The Barkley Marathons. I’ve always wanted to experience new ways to maintain my fitness and I never ran for the purpose of running too much in the past. I enjoyed running while playing sports like basketball but running for the sake of running was not enjoyable. Trail running on the other hand, hooked me and pulled me in. The ability to escape into a forest, running along a trail became a meditative experience with me. The meditative experience was especially powerful as my father entered his last years of life and I had a diffcult time coming to terms with death so close at the door. Regularly, after silent visits with my father I would return home and “escape” into a forest reflecting and having conversations with my father and eventually saying goodbye to his physical presence. While I have yet to reach, and most likely never will reach, the levels of trail running associated with world class atheletes that compete in the Barkley Marathons, I have run over 20 km many times. I have learned so much while trail running and this is my Part 1 in the lessons I have learned while trail running. These lessons are in no specific order.
Lesson #1 – Manage your stress I have a Garmin watch I purchased years ago and I monitor my heart rate while on the trails. I know that if I get over 170 bpm heat rate it will affect my ability to recover and maintain pace. If needed, I will slow down and bring my heart rate down knowing my limits. In life we don’t have a Gamin watch that will tell us when life is moving too fast. There may be other signals we need to pay attention to – sleep patterns, overall health and resistance to common colds, headaches and overall happiness. Find your measurements in life and slow down when you need to. The danger of not slowing down may result in a longer recovery time.
Lesson #2 – Don’t be embarrassed to walk the hills Yes, it is more difficult to run up a hill than on level ground. Running up a hill uses more energy and there is a much higher potential to exceed your stress levles. On more than one race I have walked up a hill or two, sometimes you will hear someone saying “Don’t walk, keep running”. Me, I know when I need to walk up a hill and most of the time I have ended running past that person that had that need to run up the hills. In life there will be times when you have an imposing hill in front of you. Don’t be embarrassed to slow down and walk up the hill if you need to. Only you can determine when you need to walk or run.
Lesson #3 – Enjoy the journey and don’t be a trail running snob More than once I have been on a trail that has a lookout. Looking at my watch and timing I would quite often run past the lookout, trying to maintain my pace and beat my last time. Take some time, stop at the lookout, take some deep breaths and enjoy the view. You will never get a chance to enjoy that specific view another time – we only have the present.
Lesson #4 – Splash in the puddles Who doesn’t remember running in the rain, looking for puddles to splash in. Somewhere along the way we stop jumping in the puddles, not wanting to get our shoes and clothes wet. It was fun, enjoying a nice rain, rolling in the snow or finding a new swimming spot. We look for dry ground or don’t go outside when it is raining – we want to stay in our comfort zone. You learn so much and can have so much enjoyment getting out of that comfort zone and trying a new path.
There is no secret that I look to professional sports for leadership lessons. Sadly, I follow some sports teams that have had some turbulent years. Right now one of them is Manchester United who have been through a number of recent manager changes without the glory days of success under Sir Alex Ferguson. Most recently, Erik ten Hag has agreed to take on the challenge of restoring Manchester United back to the top of the Premier League.
The season did not start off well with a humilating defeat to Brentford, a team that Manchester United should be able to compete with. Most embarrassing was the lack of effort – the statistic from the game that bothered Erik ten Hag the most was that the opposing team out ran his team by 13.8 km. We have discussed before, it is the actions you take every day that lead to success.
Erik ten Hag’s response to the loss? Cancelling the day off and bringing the team members into training for each of them to run 13.8 km in scorching 33 C temperatures.
What impressed me the most was not that Erik ten Hag cancelled the day off and got the team in to run. No, what impressed me the most was that he shouldered the blame as well and matched each team member step for step and completed the 13.8 km run. It ended up being a tough run for the players, but even more difficult for the 50 year old coach. So many lessons in this single act.
Mirror and Window – Leaders look in the mirror first and question what they can do better.
Model – If you can’t walk the talk then no one will walk with you.
Be swift – When a correction is necessary, respond quickly.
Focus on the actions – As John Wooden says, don’t focus on the scoreboard rather focus on the actions to get you there. In this case it was running 13.8 km.
It may be too early to see if Erik ten Hag will get Manchester United back but here is to the small actions of leadership he is making.
It’s been three months since my last post. Three months ago I had just finished another trail race after months of preparation (5k to 10k runs at 6 am), had come through a trying season of leadership as we continued to navigate through the pandemic (abseentism, missing customer deadlines) and I was questioning if I was on the right track with life and work. It was time for a reset, resting my body and mind, and reconnecting to those important to me. I spent time reading and listening to books about spirit and soul, re-connecting with friends, having great discussions on new thoughts, continuing my meditation journey, listening to songs, trying different types of exercise and practicing mindfulness every day.
Given my engineering background I have learned that all equipment benefits from a reset from now and again. When it comes to a computer or phone, we do a reset because we are experiencing software errors, or issues like connecting to networks or apps crashing. Resetting typically resolves these errors and restores normal functioning. We are the same. Without a reset we may continue in a job or relationship that does not bring joy, we may continue down a path that is causing harm to our bodies or it may be an opportunity to reaffirm the current path. The steps are easy:
Take time to reflect – Get out some paper and a pen. Write down what or who brings you enjoyment and those that don’t. Practice gratitude and be thankful for those things going well in life.
Change your clothes – While I don’t mean you need to physically change clothes, but shed those things that are no longer bringing enjoyment.
Develop your strategy, plans and tactics – What is your overall strategy and where you are headed or trying to achieve. What plans are required and what are the specific actions to get you there? Develop a mental picture of where you want to go.
Let others know where you are headed – Telling others helps to build accountability to your plan.
Go for it – Get out there and start making small steps focused on your goal. Celebrate the small successes along the way.
