In the excitement of a looming opportunity, decision makers are infamous for concentrating on what a strategy could do for them if it succeeded and not enough, or at all, on what it could do to them if it failed. “What future events could make this plan go wrong?” and “What would happen to us if it did go wrong?”
Category Archives: Family
Complacency
Complacency – Unconcerned by things that should concern them, and they may neglect their duties. Satisfied with the current situation and unconcerned with changing it, often to the point of smugness.
It is so easy to get relaxed and into the groove of doing the same thing every day and expecting improvement.
When was the last time you were complacent about wearing seatbelts? When did you just stop paying attention to them because they didn’t seem that important or you were distracted by other things? The answer is probably never. You either have formed the habit of using seatbelts or you have not. If you have formed the habit, you automatically buckle the belt, regardless of your complacency, sense of vulnerability or other distractions or priorities. If you have not formed the habit, you may buckle up only when you are concentrating on the need for such precautions (or not at all).
Life Is A Journey (So Treat It Like One)
A number of years ago our family went on a hike, 100 miles through the Highlands of Scotland. Being a trail hike (on a trail that we hoped was well marked), we had some planning to do. The five rules we set out for ourself were:
#1 – Pick a destination and have a direction.
#2 – Learn the terrain and prepare for the weather.
#3 – Find some good travelling companions.
#4 – Be ready to course correct and innovate along the way
#5 – Pause along the way because there may be nothing at the end of the road.
#1) Pick a destination and have a direction – it is very easy to get lost on the journey. Take some time to map out your path and have a goal in mind. We all have different goals in life – some personal, some professional but what do you want to accomplish? Draw a map if you need to, identifying stops along the way.
#2) Learn the terrain and prepare for the weather – sure, Scotland is known for it’s challenging climate but not every day is like that. And just like life, there will be ups and downs – be prepared for it all. All storms will pass.
#3) Find some good travelling companions – Make sure you are surrounded by people that will lift you up instead of tear you down. Did you know that your values and ability to enjoy life are most affected by the five closest people around you?
#4) Be ready to course correct and innovate along the way – you never know what challenges will come your way. It may be something simple like blisters, but if you don’t take care of them and prepare, your journey will be ruined.
#5 – Pause along the way because there may be nothing at the end of the road. Too often we set our goal and race to the finish, missing all the sites along the way. Take some time to pause and enjoy the stops along the way.
The Power of One
Do you ever find yourself on the outside, looking at someone or a process and thinking “I could do better”. My suggestion is to get in there and try to make a difference. Never underestimate the Power of One and your ability to make a difference. I was blown away listening to Justin Bieber’s album “Justice”, and more specifically the MLK Interlude. I should have known but did not appreciate that Martin Luther King was quite young at 39 years old when he had accomplished so much. We may not have the ability to effect change as much as Martin Luther King did but whenever we are in a leadership role we have the opportunity to help others. Don’t stand on the sidelines, the Power of One is unstoppable. Theodore Roosevelt captured it quite well in his quote below. Get in the arena and help someone.
Don’t Let Others Define Your Success – Part 1
One of the great leaders in sports history is John Wooden. John Wooden was one of the best coaches in history. During a 12 year span in his coaching career, while John Wooden was the head basketball coach at the University of California, Los Angeles, (UCLA) his teams won ten national championships, including seven in a row. It took John Wooden years to develop his formula for success and documented the formal in his pyramid of success. This pyramid took years to create (started in 1932 and finalized in 1948) and became John Wooden’s roadmap to success.
At the core of the Pyramid of Success was John Wooden’s definition of success – “ Success is peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable”. John Wooden had a great teacher in his father. In Johnn Wooden’s book on Leadership, he recalls an early lesson from his father to him and his brothers – “Sons,” he would tell my three brothers and me, “don’t worry about whether you’re better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can become. You have control over that; the other you don’t.”
The message is the same – you define your success, others don’t. Too often we measure success by money, possessions, being better than others or popularity. Take a lesson from John Wooden, every day is an opportunity to do your best and be satisfied in that. You define your success, others don’t.
When Your Kids Become Leaders
The definition of leadership that we started with “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something they wouldn’t normally do because they want to and they understand why.”
When we bring children into the world we have the responsibility of leading them. If you do a good job, the time will come when your kids begin to lead you. I have two simple examples that came up recently.
I introduced the concept of stimulus and response in an earlier blog. We are all challenged by this at some time. This year I made the public commitment that I would respect the observance of Lent and give up alcohol. I am not Catholic but I respect the concept of sacrifice and improvement. I was two weeks in when we had a small gathering at our house and I opened a bottle of wine to share with guests. I poured a glass for myself and was ready to bend the rules when my daughter caught my eye and knowing me said “Dad, if you do that you will regret it and there is no going back”. Needless to say, I did not drink any wine that night. My daughter was successful in getting me to do something I wouldn’t normally do because i wanted to and I understood why.
I also think of myself as somewhat chivalrous, upholding the honour of my wife. When we go for walks, I proudly hold her hand and stay aware, ready to protect. My son and his wife were walking behind us when he called out to me and said “Dad, what are you doing?” You see, we were walking on a busy road and my wife was on the inner side, walking closer to the traffic. My son educated me on chivalry and that I should actually be walking on the inner side and protecting his mother. Needless to say, I took my wife’s other hand and began walking on the inner side as I have continued to do. My son was successful in getting me to do something I wouldn’t normally do because i wanted to and I understood why.
The Gap Between Stimulus and Response
We hear it over and over again – we can only control our response to things outside of our control. My journey has included a focus on extending the zone between stimulus and response. Rarely do we need to react immediately – typically life saving moments only – and in these cases the time between stimulus and response shrinks and becomes an impulsive reaction. Impulsive reactions can happen out of anger, anxiety or habits – good and bad.
I remember walking to a parent/teacher interview one evening with my wife. It was about a 15 minute walk and when we sat down with the teacher he went on to tell us how disruptive our son was in class and that he needed to bring more focus each day. Sounded strange but he did use my son’s first name when giving us an example of a situation. That 15 minute walk home went by pretty fast. When we arrived home, we started lecturing our son only to find out it was another student by the same name in his class causing the disturbances. We turned a 15 minute gap into a impulsive situation.
At work I make it a point with my teams to never worry about bringing bad news. I tell them it is neither good or bad, it is just news and we will react accordingly. Earlier in my career when confronted with issues I was very impulsive with my reaction. I was known for swiftly fixing problems but learned one day when one of team members challenged me – Give me a chance to deal with this! I did and a better solution resulted.
What do we do? A number of years ago I had a friend recommend a local Mindfulness class. It was one of the best decisions I made and practice Mindfulness Meditation to this day. The time between stimulus and response is my time and I am in full control of how I will react. Use the time between stimulus and response, think over solutions, get advice, investigate and respond when you’re ready.
The Comfort Zone
I came across this graphic one day and it really hit home for me. You hear the suggestion over and over again – you need to get out of your comfort zone. It is true, to learn new skills and to have new experiences, we must all escape our comfort zone. I worked at the same company for twenty five years, promoted through many roles until I became President. I knew every process, I knew the products inside and out and I felt in control.
The day came when another opportunity was in front of me, a new challenge to lead another company where I did not know any of the processes. I was not familiar with any of the products and had no connection with the team. In my previous twenty five years, I had built my skills and confidence. I left my comfort zone, went into the learning and growth zones. I had confidence from previous experiences and the culture of the company was one that promoted team members to obtain new skills.
Not everyone has confidence when leaving their comfort zone. In life or business, our role as leaders is to help others through the fear zone. Eliminate the fear zone by creating a safe zone, a zone where it is ok to try new things and sometimes stumble. A safe zone does not mean there are no rules, rather it means the rules are very clear and we will all abide by them. These can be values, behaviours or a code of conduct. Humiliation, mockery and other demeaning behaviours can not exist in a safe zone.
Run a meeting, if it doesn’t achieve the desired results you can try again tomorrow. Try a new form of dance or a new sport, if you are not passionate about it you can try another. If you enjoy it, set goals, practice and improve. So while it is important for all of us to get out of our comfort zones, as leaders or parents our work is to create safe zones where people can grow and achieve their dreams.
Ticking the Boxes
I have developed a strong track record in business of solving problems, cleaning up messes, driving improvement and building strong teams. I can accomplish more in my waking hours than others and some of this comes from my skill to plan, breakdown the tactics and knock them off one by one – I call it ticking the boxes. I was so successful that I brought this same philosophy to my home life. After years of ticking the boxes at home I realized that I wasn’t enjoying the moments in life. Buy a house – tick, start a family – tick, we all get caught up in ticking the boxes. I was introduced to Mindfulness by a friend about 20 years ago and it has become a part of my life. Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
A few years ago I became interested in trail running. Nothing extreme but around 100 km to 150 km a month. You see, trail running is my opportunity to unwind, find time to meditate and pray and to get away from all life’s distractions. The last few months I started to set goals for myself – 150 km a month, 200 km a month. This past weekend as I was finishing my monthly challenge, it was my last 5 km and I realized that I had started to tick the boxes in my personal life again.
Stop from time to time and make sure you aren’t ticking the boxes. Enjoy the journey.
First you follow, then you lead
