Category Archives: Life

Stress, The Red Line and Trail Running Part 2

Through your leadership career, the time may come where you start to feel the effects of stress, unchecked it can lead to burnout. Signs of burnout can include digestion problems, high blood pressure, immunity, sleep issues, concentration issues, depressed mood, feeling worthless, loss of interest and fatigue to name a few. We concentrate on work, the challenge to succeed and forget the coping mechanisms we had when we were younger. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a piece of equipment that would let us know when we were approaching burnout?

When trail running, it is common to keep your eye on your heartrate using a fitness watch. Your heartrate will pass through five zones from Zone 1 (Moderate Activity) to Zone 5 (VO2 Max) as you increase your pace of running. Maintaining your heart rate in Zone 3 (Aerobix) will allow you to run for extended periods with relative ease and complete your 5K , 10K, 15k or more. Moving into Zone 4 (Anaerobic) becomes increasingly difficult and if you get into Zone 5 (Maximum Effort), you will not be able to continue for a long distance. You may want to walk to recover from Zone 5, but as soon as you start running again your heart rate will go right back into Zone 5. You have passed the red line of recovery and only extended rest will help.

It is the same with burnout at work. Everyone has a different red line when it comes to life. Your personal red line is a combination of life stress and work stress which varies at any time based on specific conditions. Like trail running, if you pass the red line of stress, the recovery is much more challenging. The secret – do your best to maintain and continue to develop your coping mechanisms – exercise, spending time with family and friends, meditation, yoga, reading or hobbies. Be aware of your personal red line and look for symptoms like those above.

Hello in There and Iceberg Communications

There is a song by John Prine that I enjoy listening to – it’s called “Hello in There”. While the song focuses on a couple that grows older and becomes lonely, the message applies to everyone. Below is only an excerpt of the lyrics from the song.

Hello In There – John Prine

You know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder every day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in there, hello”

So if you’re walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes
Please don’t just pass ’em by and stare
As if you didn’t care, say, “Hello in there, hello”

How often do you just pass by others, especially friends or team members, and only have a superficial discussion – “How are you?”, “Good” and then we move on. It is so easy today with text and email to only touch the surface of the individual and not truly understand how they are doing – it reminds me of an iceberg.

I first learned this lesson when I was younger, before text or email was a preferred method of communication. On a family trip to Scotland visiting relatives, we would walk into the town for groceries. If our relatives saw someone they knew, it wasn’t just “Hello”, it was “Let’s stop and have a tea”, followed by a deeper conversation. No rush, and taking time to truly know how the other person was doing.

Unfortunately, I learned this lesson again. Recently I received a call from a friend to let me know a mutual friend had passed away only days before. Over the past, I had worked with this mutual friend at two different companies building a connection. We would see each other two or three times a year and regularly text, especially when our rival soccer teams were playing each other. I had been in contact via text, only weeks before as our teams were playing and we had some fun texting and finished off with – “Hope things are going well”. What my friend didn’t tell me was that he was at home in the final stages of a battle with cancer. He didn’t tell me and I didn’t know.

What can we do different?

At work, there are different methods. My daughter recently taught me about The Rose, The Thorn and The Bud. You can start off meetings at work by asking everyone:

What is your rose? What is something great that has happened?
What is your thorn? What is not going as expected?
What is your bud? What have you learned?

In your personal life there are simple steps we can all take. Recently, when I receive a text from a friend, I select dial instead of text and have a conversation – there is still something special about hearing a voice, a laugh, or being able to prop someone up. I also take the opportunity to ask deeper questions:

What’s on your mind today?
What was your highlight from last week? (Rose)
What are you worried about this week? (Thorn)
What did you learn last week? (Bud)
If you had a whole day where you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?
What do you want people to know about you?
What do you need more of in your life?
What do you need less of in your life?
How have you grown in the last year and where do you want to grow this year?

Try whatever is comfortable to you – it will make a difference in someone’s life.

To my friend, may your journey continue. You made an imprint on me, YNWA.

What Poker Taught Tony Hsieh

Tony Hsieh’s book Delivering Happiness provides a roadmap to develop both employee and client satisfaction, focused on delivering happiness. It also includes business lessons from a successful entrepreneur that can be applied to our leadership journey, specifically if you are leading an organization.

Two takeaways for me.

Become a life long learner like Tony. Use your everyday experiences and use them to adapt. Tony was very good at applying life lessons to work.
A part of his book that really stuck with me was when he described his learnings from poker and the application to business. The lessons Tony presents are as follows:

Evaluating Market Opportunities

Table selection is the most important decision you can make.
It’s okay to switch tables if you discover it’s too hard to win at your table.
If there are too many competitors (some irrational or inexperienced), even if you’re the best it’s a lot harder to win.

Marketing and Branding

Act weak when strong, act strong when weak. Know when to bluff.
Your “brand” is important.
Help shape the stories that people are telling about you.

Financials

Always be prepared for the worst possible scenario.
The guy who wins the most hands is not the guy who makes the most money in the long run.
The guy who never loses a hand is not the guy who makes the most money in the long run.
Go for positive expected value, not what’s least risky.
Make sure your bankroll is large enough for the game you’re playing and the risks you’re taking.
Play only with what you can afford to lose.
Remember that it’s a long-term game. You will win or lose individual hands or sessions, but it’s what happens in the long term that matters.

Strategy

Don’t play games that you don’t understand, even if you see lots of other people making money from them.
Figure out the game when the stakes aren’t high.
Don’t cheat. Cheaters never win in the long run.
Stick to your principles.
You need to adjust your style of play throughout the night as the dynamics of the game change. Be flexible.
Be patient and think long-term.
The players with the most stamina and focus usually win.
Differentiate yourself. Do the opposite of what the rest of the table is doing.
Hope is not a good plan.
Don’t let yourself go “on tilt.” It’s much more cost-effective to take a break, walk around, or leave the game for the night.

Continual Learning

Educate yourself. Read books and learn from others who have done it before.
Learn by doing. Theory is nice, but nothing replaces actual experience.
Learn by surrounding yourself with talented players.
Just because you win a hand doesn’t mean you’re good and you don’t have more learning to do. You might have just gotten lucky.
Don’t be afraid to ask for advice.

Culture

You’ve gotta love the game. To become really good, you need to live it and sleep it.
Don’t be cocky. Don’t be flashy. There’s always someone better than you.
Be nice and make friends. It’s a small community.
Share what you’ve learned with others.
Look for opportunities beyond just the game you sat down to play. You never know who you’re going to meet, including new friends for life or new business contacts.
Have fun. The game is a lot more enjoyable when you’re trying to do more than just make money.

Tony Hsieh and Delivering Happiness

There will come a time when all servant leaders become conflicted with focusing on profits or people. Tony Hsieh (1973-2020) does a great job of telling all of us how to link profits, passion and purpose. As Jim Collins tells us, it is the genius of the “and”, focusing on profits “and” people and not the tyranny of the “or”, focusing on profits “or” people. If you have not read Tony’s book on Zappos, or have not ever heard of Zappos, pick up a copy of his book “Delivering Happiness”. So many great lessons from the book and a shame that Tony is not around today to continue his journey of bringing happiness to others. All too often, those focused so much on bringing happiness to others have a difficult time bringing happiness to themselves – I also think of Robin Williams.

There is a great section at the end of book where Tony goes deeper on his quest on Delivering Happiness. Tony tells us that, when you ask people what their ultimate goal is (by following a five why exercise), everyone only wants to become happier.

Tony tells us that happiness is about four things:

Perceived control – Tony’s way to do this was to implement a “skill set system,” giving out small raises as each employee learned and mastered each of 20 skill sets laid out by the company. Having clarity and control over their raises made employees happier.
Perceived progress – Tony changed the practice of one large promotion into smaller promotions given on merit every six months. Employees were much happier because there was an ongoing sense of perceived progress.
Connectedness – the number and depth of your relationships. Tony believed happier employees made more productive employees, so Tony was always thinking about how to foster socializing and friendships at work – with initiatives like discounted food and relaxation areas.
Vision or meaning – being a part of something bigger than yourself. As part of this Tony brings in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Once you attain happiness, it can consist of three types of happiness:

Pleasure – Shortest lasting and requires constant stimulation.
Passion – Being in the zone – time passes quickly.
Higher Purpose – Being part of something bigger than yourself . This is the longest lasting form of happiness.

What to do if you are able to find true happiness? You need to share it. Your happiness will never decrease by sharing it with others.

Habits, My Daily Jay and Friction

I know that we all have positive habits, negative habits, habits we want to start and habits we want to stop. One of my daily habits is to spend time in mindfulness meditation. I am proud say that I am approaching 1000 days in a row spending some quiet time each day. Part of my morning routine is to sit quietly and listen to a daily meditation. I use the Calm app and quite often listen to Jay Shetty’s Daily Jay.

This week one of the meditations was centred around habits and what Jay Shetty refers to as “decreasing friction”. For me, a way to decrease friction for mindfulness meditation is to use the Calm app which provides me with multiple meditations queued up and ready to go. Another example of decreasing friction is my goal of having a healthy breakfast. Making a batch of overnight oats or overnight chia that lasts two or three mornings makes it simple – get up, the food is ready and all I need to do is scoop it into a bowl and eat it – no thought required and no friction.

The opposite is also true. If there is a habit you want to stop, consider adding friction. Snacking after meals, add some friction by removing the snacks from the cupboards. Worried about too many calories, use an app like MyFitnessPal to track your calorie intake.

Remove friction or add friction, and focus on where you want to improve.

Taken from the Calm App and the Daily Jay

Daily Reminders

Do you have a daily reminder? It can be a famous quote, bible verse, meditation or a yellow sticky note. There is so much outside of our control, try to find a reminder close to your heart that is something within your control. A set of questions I like to start my day with:

How do I want to feel today?
Who do I want to be today?
What do I want to receive today?
What do I want to give today?

Four simple questions to ask yourself every morning while having your morning cup of coffee, during exercise, meditation or during your commute to work.

Empowerment Part 1

In every leadership journey there will come a point where you will need to transition from a command and control leader (some would say micro-manager) to an empowering leader. It can be painful when someone refers to you as a micro-manager, we typically don’t want to be seen as control freaks. Command and control leaders can be very effective, look no further than Steve Jobs of Apple fame. Having a command and control leader can also be useful in emergency situations or working with a team that is very fresh and unskilled (think toddlers).

At some point, most people want to be empowered. Empowerment can be defined as giving authority or power to someone to do something. What are the basics to empowerment?

There are three basic steps to Empowerment – Trust, Train and Empower.

Empowerment begins with mutual trust – as a leader you must believe in the potential of the individual, trust that they want to do the right thing and the individual must trust you are there to support them.
Training is required, not just in the knowledge and skills required for the task, but also the “guardrails”. The guardrails are the decision boundaries including areas such as policies, procedures, SOPs’s, ethics and decisions that may show favouritism. The guardrails will change over time as the individual gains skills and knowledge.
The final step is to get out of the way and empower the individuals. Set up a pre-determined checkpoint where you will be able to provide feedback. For feedback, there is no better feedback than positive feedback when someone is executing to expectations.

Two Dimensions of Life

Robert Frost said it best when he said “Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length”. As much as we can focus on health and longevity, the time we will be in our mortal bodies is not within our control. What is within our control is the ability to maximize the present moment – that is the second dimension. Arguably, there is a third dimension (the multiverse), but we will leave that to Spiderman for now. If you aspire to be a great leader, you need to be present for your team. Being present allows you to provide encouragement, support, and positive energy. If you aren’t present, it can be discouraging to the team.

How to remain present:

Maintain eye contact
Listen as if you will need to repeat everything back
Ask curious questions
Don’t take notes
Breathe slowly
Resist the need to analyze or solve
Embrace the opportunity to learn

Abraham Lincoln – And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

Where do you lead from?

I just finished reading a book by Gabrielle Bernstein – “The Universe Has Your Back”. While the book focuses on teaching us how to transform fear into faith, the lessons can also be applied to leadership. One of the very powerful quotes is “Your purpose is to be joyful. Your purpose is to live with ease. Your purpose is to surrender to the love of the Universe so you can live a happy life. Accept the purpose of love, and your life will radically change this instant.” Now what leader would you rather follow, a leader that leads from the purpose of love or a leader that leads from the purpose of fear.

Leaders that lead from the heart will do the following:

Show warmth, an interest in the well-being of others, and a desire to connect.
Help others faced with a challenge.
Keep their commitments.
Appreciate, respect, encourage and empower.
Take the time, especially when they don’t have time.
Active listening.
Treat others’ time as if it’s as important as theirs.
Be as passionate about the growth of others as they are about their own.

Leaders that lead from fear often have the following:

Lead by using their position instead of influencing behaviors.
A track record of employee churn because they do not value people.
Have a team walking on eggshells because mistakes are punished, quite often publicly
A comfort in dysfunction. Whether at work of home, they enjoy arguing and intimidating others. Unfortunately this usually spills over into family situations.
Teams that lack confidence due to shortcomings always being pointed out and always been told what went wrong.

Fanning the Flames

A friend of mine has a podcast called The Little Spark. Topics that will inspire creativity, genius or madness that will provide inspiration.

Leaders are always looking for inspiration and new ways to either motivate themselves or their teams. For me, it can be a long trail run listening to an audio book, a casual conversation with someone, watching a Ted Talk or listening to interviews. Wherever you find your Little Spark, the difference is is what you do with it. What do you see from high performers that fan the flames of little sparks?

Put lessons into practice quickly. Look at elite sports teams, after a tough game they review performance, make corrections and begin practicing for the next game.
They learn from others. Otto von Bismarck said it best “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others”.
They get feedback on their performance. Without feedback, you are left guessing about performance.
They are always looking for opportunities to learn and grow.
They continue to look for little sparks in everything they do.
They learn how to say no and stay focused on their goals.

Learning To Lead

Learning to lead is a life long journey