Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is necessary, and is kind. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.
Three simple gates to pass through before you provide feedback.
Two times this past week the topic of anxiety and high achievers came up. In both cases, it caused me to pause and reflect on my life and leadership journey.
The first time to reflect was when reading an article that found it’s way to my inbox . It was a Harvard Business Review – How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety by Morra Aarons-Mele from March-April 2023. (https://hbr.org/2023/03/how-high-achievers-overcome-their-anxiety) Without a doubt, as you continue along your leadership journey there will be times that will come along where you will be exposed to stress and anxiety. Systems of anxiety can be feeling nervous, restless or tense, an increased heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, trembling, feeling tired or trouble concentrating.
The second time this week was an interview – Zane Lowe interviewing Post Malone following the release of his latest album AUSTIN. So often we look to sports or business leaders regarding anxiety and high performance. During the interview, Post Malone discusses his anxiety and his need to turn to alcohol or drugs to prepare him for concerts or interviews. Post Malone mentions a couple of times that he is trying to enjoy the journey and not focus on the destination.
The Harvard Business Review is very informative and a powerful introduction to anxiety, its effects and ways to live with anxiety along with the benefits when managed properly. You will be introduced to topics such as Monkey Mind – trying to focus but your mind wanders far away, Worst Case Scenario – the Stoics loved this one and instead of avoiding thought on what can happen they would face it head on. Most importantly you will be introduced to practices to help – identifying the source of anxiety, self-compassion, humour, exercise, self-talk and guided meditation.
Focusing on my goals has always been a strength of mine and along with it has come a certain level of anxiety. One of my supervisors once told me “I am happy when you are worried about something because I know you will solve the issue”. Easy for him to say, he didn’t know the effect on me. When I reached my early 30’s, blessed with two children and a career where I was the person to send somewhere in the world when a problem needed solving I started experiencing the warning signs. Always eager to take on and overcome the next challenge, I started finding myself having trouble sleeping, tense and feeling sick. I went to my family doctor and received some of the best advice I have every received. He told me, I could give you some medication but I suggest you go to a local Mindfulness clinic – an eight week program located in my hometown. It was difficult for me to go as I have never been someone to admit weakness. Mindfulness has been my go to for anxiety and my practice continues to this day. Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgement. When Post Malone says he is focusing on the journey and not the destination – this is the basic lesson of mindfulness.
What works for me will not work for everyone. The important lesson is to recognize the symptoms and if it gets to be too difficult, seek out methods to learn to live with anxiety and turn it into your superpower.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created or destroyed – only converted from one form of energy to another. Sometimes this law is also referred to as the Law of Conservation of Energy. While we can visualize the transfer of energy if we add a flame to an ice cube, the application of this law can be much broader.
We emit energy every day through our body language, the words we speak, how we treat one another, and it is possible to convert negative energy to positive energy. What are the results of positive energy in the workplace?
How can we convert negative energy to positive energy?
I entered the trail running world years ago after watching The Barkley Marathons. I’ve always wanted to experience new ways to maintain my fitness and I never ran for the purpose of running too much in the past. I enjoyed running while playing sports like basketball but running for the sake of running was not enjoyable. Trail running on the other hand, hooked me and pulled me in. The ability to escape into a forest, running along a trail became a meditative experience with me. The meditative experience was especially powerful as my father entered his last years of life and I had a diffcult time coming to terms with death so close at the door. Regularly, after silent visits with my father I would return home and “escape” into a forest reflecting and having conversations with my father and eventually saying goodbye to his physical presence. While I have yet to reach, and most likely never will reach, the levels of trail running associated with world class atheletes that compete in the Barkley Marathons, I have run over 20 km many times. I have learned so much while trail running and this is my Part 1 in the lessons I have learned while trail running. These lessons are in no specific order.
Lesson #1 – Manage your stress I have a Garmin watch I purchased years ago and I monitor my heart rate while on the trails. I know that if I get over 170 bpm heat rate it will affect my ability to recover and maintain pace. If needed, I will slow down and bring my heart rate down knowing my limits. In life we don’t have a Gamin watch that will tell us when life is moving too fast. There may be other signals we need to pay attention to – sleep patterns, overall health and resistance to common colds, headaches and overall happiness. Find your measurements in life and slow down when you need to. The danger of not slowing down may result in a longer recovery time.
Lesson #2 – Don’t be embarrassed to walk the hills Yes, it is more difficult to run up a hill than on level ground. Running up a hill uses more energy and there is a much higher potential to exceed your stress levles. On more than one race I have walked up a hill or two, sometimes you will hear someone saying “Don’t walk, keep running”. Me, I know when I need to walk up a hill and most of the time I have ended running past that person that had that need to run up the hills. In life there will be times when you have an imposing hill in front of you. Don’t be embarrassed to slow down and walk up the hill if you need to. Only you can determine when you need to walk or run.
Lesson #3 – Enjoy the journey and don’t be a trail running snob More than once I have been on a trail that has a lookout. Looking at my watch and timing I would quite often run past the lookout, trying to maintain my pace and beat my last time. Take some time, stop at the lookout, take some deep breaths and enjoy the view. You will never get a chance to enjoy that specific view another time – we only have the present.
Lesson #4 – Splash in the puddles Who doesn’t remember running in the rain, looking for puddles to splash in. Somewhere along the way we stop jumping in the puddles, not wanting to get our shoes and clothes wet. It was fun, enjoying a nice rain, rolling in the snow or finding a new swimming spot. We look for dry ground or don’t go outside when it is raining – we want to stay in our comfort zone. You learn so much and can have so much enjoyment getting out of that comfort zone and trying a new path.
It’s been three months since my last post. Three months ago I had just finished another trail race after months of preparation (5k to 10k runs at 6 am), had come through a trying season of leadership as we continued to navigate through the pandemic (abseentism, missing customer deadlines) and I was questioning if I was on the right track with life and work. It was time for a reset, resting my body and mind, and reconnecting to those important to me. I spent time reading and listening to books about spirit and soul, re-connecting with friends, having great discussions on new thoughts, continuing my meditation journey, listening to songs, trying different types of exercise and practicing mindfulness every day.
Given my engineering background I have learned that all equipment benefits from a reset from now and again. When it comes to a computer or phone, we do a reset because we are experiencing software errors, or issues like connecting to networks or apps crashing. Resetting typically resolves these errors and restores normal functioning. We are the same. Without a reset we may continue in a job or relationship that does not bring joy, we may continue down a path that is causing harm to our bodies or it may be an opportunity to reaffirm the current path. The steps are easy:
In Canada we are getting ready for something that hasn’t happened for 36 years – the Men’s National Soccer Team is going to the World Cup. What happened? John Herdman is what happened. If you don’t know about John Herdman take some time to listen to or watch his talks. John is a self proclaimed “Hobbit from New Zealand”.
John Herdman was actually born in England, loved soccer (football) and made his way to New Zealand. In 2011, John made his way to Canada to take over leadership of the Womens National Team. Coming off their worst international performance ever, John quickly led the Womens Team to a gold medal finish at the 2011 Pan American Games in Mexico followed by bronze medals at both the 2012 and 2016 Olympic Games.
In January 2018, John inherited the Canadian Mens National Team ranked 94th in the world. Where are they today, currently ranked 33rd and on their way to the World Cup.
How does John do this? John finds the North Star for the team and individuals on the team. This becomes the external motivation for the team and players – unanimous focus on a common goal. While John provides external motivation, he also puts the team together with individuals that are internally motivated and will “Live Above the Line” and provide 80% + every single day. 100% is not possible, but 80% is the minimuim requirement (at approximately 13:45 of the clip below). Living below 80% is mediocrity and if you live below that line, you don’t represent Canada because you don’t deserve it.
Now in your personal or professional life, are you passionate about what you do and are you intrinsically motivated to Live Above The Line?
You’ve heard it before – circle yourself with personal and professional connections that will help you improve. It doesn’t matter who you are, those challenging times will come at some time in your life. Your personal glass of water can sometimes be half empty or half full. We can’t always be at 100%. What I find more important is that you have a support network around you that can lift you up during those times. That is what I call my pitcher of water. I have been blessed throughout my life to have pitchers of water around, always looking to fill up my glass when needed.
As leaders, we need to do the same thing. When you have that opportunity to refill someones glass, don’t let that opportunity pass you by. Someday your glass will need a refill.
Newton’s first law (the law of inertia) states states that if a body is at rest or moving at a constant speed in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line at constant speed unless it is acted upon by a force.
Being an Engineer, I love when we can apply laws of physics to our daily lives and leadership journeys.
Perfect time to understand this law with the NHL hockey playoffs on right now. You get the player cruising into the other teams area, focused on the goalie and where to shoot the puck, when WHAM!!!!! Out of nowhere comes a 200 lb hockey player focused entirely on you and how best to stop your motion. This is a force that is difficult to get away from and following the impact, you learn a lesson you will not too soon forget.
Now, in our personal or leadership journeys it is very easy to maintain status quo – either at rest or following a straight line. It is very rare that a 200 lb man will crash into you and remind you not to eat that sugary treat, drink one more cocktail, continue to think of ways to become more efficient even when your company is profitable or look for ways to engage your team members and help them grow even after a recent promotion. It comes down to each and every one of us to continue to improve every day. We have been given an opportunity to exist in our current state on this planet for a limited time.
There are so many opportunities in life to seek out information, techniques and better ways of doing things. We are bombarded with blogs, books, articles and tips of the day. It is up to you as a leader to continue to look for ways to improve, either by searching out information or coaches that can help in your journey. The force required for change can come from within or can come from outside. Think of the case when your Doctor tells you that if you don’t veer from your current path you may reduce your time on this planet. Or when your supervisor tells you that status quo is not an option and without change you may be looking for a new job.
Be the force necessary to make change in your life.
Your leadership journey will not always have linear progress. You know when everyone tells you that when you put in the work you will see progress. Hate to tell you, sometimes you don’t see the progress you are expecting.
Whether it is exercise, dieting or your leadership journey you need to be prepared for non-linear progress and even sometimes taking a step backward. If you find yourself going too far backward it may be time to seek out guidance or advice. The same strategies or approaches will not work for all situations. Send me a note if you feel that your linear progression has stalled and we can discuss some new approaches.
If you haven’t had a chance to read Jim Collins, make a point to do it at some time. Jim introduces the concept of Level 5 Leadership.
Jim found that Level 5 leaders have humility, and they don’t seek success for their own glory; rather, success is necessary so that the team and organization can thrive. They share credit for success, and they’re the first to accept blame for mistakes. Collins also says that they’re often shy, but fearless when it comes to making decisions, especially ones that most other people consider risky.
Level 1: Highly Capable Individual
At this level, you make high quality contributions with your work. You possess useful levels of knowledge; and you have the talent and skills needed to do a good job.
Level 2: Contributing Team Member
At Level 2, you use your knowledge and skills to help your team succeed. You work effectively, productively and successfully with other people in your group.
Level 3: Competent Manager
Here, you’re able to organize a group effectively to achieve specific goals and objectives.
Level 4: Effective Leader
Level 4 is the category that most top leaders fall into. Here, you’re able to galvanize a department or organization to meet performance objectives and achieve a vision.
Level 5: Great Leader
At Level 5, you have all of the abilities needed for the other four levels, plus you have the unique blend of humility and will that’s required for true greatness.