We hear it over and over again – we can only control our response to things outside of our control. My journey has included a focus on extending the zone between stimulus and response. Rarely do we need to react immediately – typically life saving moments only – and in these cases the time between stimulus and response shrinks and becomes an impulsive reaction. Impulsive reactions can happen out of anger, anxiety or habits – good and bad.

I remember walking to a parent/teacher interview one evening with my wife. It was about a 15 minute walk and when we sat down with the teacher he went on to tell us how disruptive our son was in class and that he needed to bring more focus each day. Sounded strange but he did use my son’s first name when giving us an example of a situation. That 15 minute walk home went by pretty fast. When we arrived home, we started lecturing our son only to find out it was another student by the same name in his class causing the disturbances. We turned a 15 minute gap into a impulsive situation.

At work I make it a point with my teams to never worry about bringing bad news. I tell them it is neither good or bad, it is just news and we will react accordingly. Earlier in my career when confronted with issues I was very impulsive with my reaction. I was known for swiftly fixing problems but learned one day when one of team members challenged me – Give me a chance to deal with this! I did and a better solution resulted.

What do we do? A number of years ago I had a friend recommend a local Mindfulness class. It was one of the best decisions I made and practice Mindfulness Meditation to this day. The time between stimulus and response is my time and I am in full control of how I will react. Use the time between stimulus and response, think over solutions, get advice, investigate and respond when you’re ready.